It’s been a tough week, triple tough, training, technology and personal problems were the trifecta.
I’ve been dragging this week. Don’t know if it’s the heat, the diet, the combo, or everything all together.
Thursday was the “I showed up, what more do you want?” ride. I took it easy and it was a little short. After some time, I felt like I had more in me, but my knee has been bothering me lately, in that way that gets better quick if you use the extension strength training machine. That dawned on me just after I cancelled my membership to the Y. They kept giving me a new account when my marital status, name or who lived in my house changed, but I’ve been a member at the Y for over 30 years. I always felt good about my membership with a gym that subsidizes memberships for people who wouldn’t have one without the support. Canceling felt a little like a break up, but the people most comfortable with a lot of exertion and heavy breathing in a closed building are largely the same people comfortable remaining unvaccinated and going without masks and I’ve scarcely been since the pandemic.
The Friday ride was ok, but I cleared the path of large limbs and saw some riders take a curve fast and wide causing a woman to fall. It was, in part, the walker taking up too much space with dogs on retractable leashes. But, that happens on this trail, and it’s better to stop than to run someone off the trail and onto the ground.
Saturday, well I’m going to post this early and move on to a second post all its own about Saturday.
My laptop fizzled. I don’t know if it’s a screen problem or a dead computer problem. I have my tech guy working on it. I don’t have a budget for a replacement. The plan was for it to last another year and get a year end clearance of the second year of a new model. Best laid plans.
I don’t change computer habits quickly. There are less expensive options, both in brand and features than what I’m using, but ever since the work in GIS, I’ve had powerful machines and we need power for video and photo work for the project. Switching OS would make me need to do some relearning at a time when I’m ultra busy and learning new software too.
The big owie is that we were in the push to get this **** project out the door and in front of people. Not getting it out this weekend pushes it until August and I wanted to be actively organizing our first weeks before September. That really hurts.
The Personal Stuff
I had really unpleasant interactions with three different people who are pretty important to me and they left me feeling not at all important to them. It was defeating. Yesterday I thought about binge eating, but it was just a thought. I didn’t actually have the impulse. Realizing that I didn’t even want to may have been the single bright point in the week.
I thought about going to the mountains alone and hiking as many miles as I could, but it is so very hot and buggy. I wouldn’t have lasted through the catharsis that I needed. I thought about trying to find a get away where I could hide from everyone and work on that novel I’ve been editing in my head for almost my whole life, but there’s no budget for that either.
And, while I really wanted to be alone to lick my wounds, at the same time, there’s never really a time that I want to be without Russ for any length of time. So, I guess the option I’m left with is to suck it up and carry on. It would be nice to feel better while I’m doing it though.